


i would do anything (for you)

by emotionalpanda



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Realizations, Soft Jen, jen tries to cook, there's mario kart, theyre not a couple yet but they basically are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25115725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalpanda/pseuds/emotionalpanda
Summary: It was a random Tuesday, a day that had the weathermen calling for rain (not that Jen ever believed them when they said it would rain, it’s fucking California, rain isn’t real). It was a random Tuesday when Jen realized something, a truth so irritating she immediately wanted to evict it from her brain, but she knew she couldn’t, not this time. It was a random Tuesday when Jen realized she would do anything to make Judy Hale smile.orthe one where Jen wants to be softer bc thats what Judy deserves!!
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 17
Kudos: 128





	i would do anything (for you)

It was a random Tuesday, a day that had the weathermen calling for rain (not that Jen ever believed them when they said it would rain, it’s fucking California, rain isn’t real). It was a random Tuesday when Jen realized something, a truth so irritating she immediately wanted to evict it from her brain, but she knew she couldn’t, not this time. It was a random Tuesday when Jen realized she would do _anything_ to make Judy Hale smile.

_God fucking damnit_

Jen didn’t know how it happened. It didn’t make sense. Jen wasn’t soft; she never wanted to be soft. Soft gets you hurt. Soft makes you stupid. And here she was, softening like butter on a warm kitchen counter, begging for someone, _anyone,_ to throw her back in the fridge before she melted too visibly. Ridiculous. Judy made her feel ridiculous.

* * *

At first, before Judy entered the picture, Sundays were reserved for family dinner. Jen made a point of wrangling the boys together to eat at the same time, as a family, even if that family dinner was some reheated casserole filled with god knows what. Those casseroles always tasted like pity. And raisins. She really hated raisins. But Jen knew that she had to feed her boys something with nutrients in it, they were growing boys (growing way too fast for her liking), and they shouldn’t live on cinnamon toast crunch alone.

Jen didn’t really know how to cook. Ted had been the cook of the family and it was too late to learn anything from him. He was dead. As far as Jen knew, there wasn’t a way to summon the dead just to learn how to make spaghetti sauce. She had researched Ouija boards just in case.

Then, somehow, Judy came along, and the house they shared suddenly started smelling like a home again. Judy was a vegetarian, so she knew how to cook vegetables in a way that made them actually taste good. Judy was magic. Jen had never seen Charlie willingly eat a Brussels sprout in his life. He’d turn his nose up at them, claim they “smelled like farts.” Yet, when Judy cooked them for the first time, Charlie couldn’t get enough. His face lit up at the first bite and he gave Judy a real, genuine smile. Jen was not used to Charlie smiling; she blinked a few times in shock, before turning to Judy with awe in her eyes.

Soon, Sundays were reserved for family dinner, Judy included, and Judy knew how to make casseroles that tasted like love. Sunday dinners spilled into Monday dinners, Mondays dinners into Tuesday dinners, until nearly every day there was an unspoken agreement to sit down at the table together to enjoy a home cooked meal (or two cheese pizzas, on special occasions). It had become a domestic dream of sorts, almost too good to be real. Jen couldn’t figure out why Judy worked so hard to make Jen happy, worked so hard to make Charlie and Henry happy. She couldn’t figure out how Judy had fit so much love and warmth into her petite little body. Her generosity was endless.

Jen knew she had to be better, better to herself, better to her kids, better to Judy. Judy was kind, frustratingly kind, because Jen didn’t deserve kind, but Judy always thought she did, so she kept showering Jen in kindness, day after day, month after month. Judy believed in Jen and Jen wanted to prove that she was someone worth believing in, someone good, someone kind. Judy made Jen want to renovate her old selfish, angry, coldhearted ways. Judy made Jen want to grow, even if it was ridiculously fucking hard not to snap at everyone all the time. It was practically an impossible task, but Jen wanted to try. She wanted to try for Judy.

* * *

It started with flowers. Colorful bouquets in the back seat of Jen’s car. Jen didn’t know what kinds of flowers she got, she just chose the ones that she thought Judy would like. Judy deserved flowers. But, if anyone asked, Jen would claim that she only bought flowers to fill up the vases she had lying around the house. The vases were getting dusty.

When Jen walked into the house, she quietly set the flowers down on the kitchen counter so she could watch the sight in front of her. Judy was sitting on the floor with Charlie and Henry, their backs leaning against the couch. Each one had a video game controller in their hands and their eyes were glued to the TV screen. They were playing Mario Kart together. Jen smiled and decided to watch for a bit before calling attention to herself. Judy seemed to be in last place, playing as the character Princess Peach. Charlie was in first place, as Bowser, and Henry was in third as Toad.

Jen waited until the race ended. Charlie and Henry high fived, the sight of it making Jen’s heart soar. Judy was saying something about banana peels and green turtle shells, waving her hands excitedly to the boys.

Jen cleared her throat and they all turned toward her. Judy spotted the flowers and gasped before moving towards Jen.

“Jen, wow, these are so pretty! I love tulips!” Judy’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Does Henry have a show tonight? You should’ve told me, I totally could’ve stopped to pick up flowers for him! They let me out early today. Said something about a big bingo event happening at three. Art class was cut short. Which sucked, because it was watercolor d—“

Jen cut her off, “Uh…actually, they’re for you. Henry’s performance is next week. I’ll put it on the calendar and—“

“For me?” Judy made a face that looked as if she had never been given flowers before. Jen’s stomach twisted. Had no one ever given Judy flowers before?

Judy looked like she was going to cry.

“Oh, honey.” Jen pulled Judy in for a hug as Judy’s face scrunched up and her eyes started watering. “What’s wrong? What is it? Are you allergic? There’s gotta be a Benadryl around here somewhere—“

Judy pulled away to look at Jen, “No. Nothing’s wrong. It’s just, they’re so beautiful. Thank you.” They stayed in their partial embrace, looking into each other’s eyes for a moment too long, soft smiles on their faces, before Judy broke contact.

“Jen, where did you put those vases again? These bad boys need some water!”

* * *

One day, Judy seemed more tired than usual. Usually, Judy was up and at ‘em first thing in the morning, ready to take on the day with a smile. Jen could never understand how that was possible, but Judy was constantly making the impossible possible; that’s just how Judy works.

This time, however, Judy was still asleep when Jen woke up. It never happened, not once in the time Jen and Judy had shared a bed. Jen didn’t even remember how they ended up sharing a bed. It just started happening one day and then never stopped. Jen enjoyed it, relied on it, almost. She didn’t want to think about why.

Judy was still asleep and Jen thought it was weird how much she missed not seeing an awake Judy smile at her first thing in the morning.

Jen decided she was going to try to be nice today. Judy deserved something nice.

Jen crept down the stairs and made her way over to her laptop. She typed “google” into the search bar and then “how to make pancakes wikihow” into google. Judy had told her about wikihow because Judy used it a lot for DIY projects. Jen smiled at the thought of Judy’s crafting.

The pancake making wikihow made it look easy. Something something make the batter something something pour the batter something something bubbles means it’s time to flip. Should be simple.

Jen was confident. She was going to make pancakes for Judy and she was going to do it right.

Minutes later, Jen found herself whispering imaginative curses at the bowl of pancake batter. It was lumpier than an old mattress, and the wikihow said that some lumps were good, but Jen figured that one huge lump of dry ingredients was not what they meant. It’d be like eating buttery chalk dust. Unacceptable.

She found the courage to pour some of the batter into a pan, but forgot to heat the pan up first. She then turned the heat on high, to try to make up for it. Jen’s mind wandered back to the subject of Judy. Was she okay? Did she get any sleep last night? Jen worried that it was the nightmares coming back. Jen hadn’t heard any noises from Judy in her sleep, and Jen was a light sleeper, so if Judy had made noise Jen would’ve heard it. Silent nightmares, maybe?

Jen smelled something burning. The fucking pancake. She forgot she was trying to cook. She tossed the half blackened half raw ghost of a pancake into the sink and sighed. She had to focus.

The second pancake looked okay on the outside. Jen was ready to give up her grumbling and let out a rare cheer. She cut into it—she wanted to make sure it didn’t taste horrible before serving it to Judy. Before bringing it to her mouth, Jen noticed there was a thin line of what looked like vanilla pudding in the middle of the pancake. Raw batter. Goddamnit.

Jen had heard the saying “the third time’s the charm” and she hoped it was true for this case. She was losing patience and losing patience fast. Being kind was fucking hard, how did Judy manage it all the time?

The third and fourth pancakes were perfect, at least by Jen’s standards. She wasn’t winning Chopped any time soon.

She stacked them on a plate, drizzled them with syrup, and grabbed some utensils from the drawer. She saw Judy’s reusable water bottle, one of many in Judy’s collection— _“they’re better for the environment, Jen. And you can put stickers on them! Look, this one’s a fox_!” Judy had said. Jen filled up the fox sticker bottle with ice water and secured the lid.

When Jen made it up to the bedroom with the pancakes and water, Judy was just waking up.

“What time is it?” Judy asked with a groggy voice.

“It’s like past ten, Judes. Are you feeling okay?”

“Huh…” Judy frowned, trying to come up with a response.

“I brought you some water, you had me worried… Look,” Jen gestured to the eco-friendly water bottle, “I’m saving the bees. Or whatever.”

Judy sat up in bed, more alert. “Jen, did you…did you make me pancakes?”

Jen laughed, “More like the pancakes made me, but yeah. Almost started a kitchen fire, actually.” Jen noticed Judy’s eyes widening in worry. “Don’t worry, there were no flames. I don’t need the fucking fire department coming here before noon. I handled it.”

Judy dug into the plate of pancakes and Jen watched her. Jen told herself that she was watching Judy to make sure that the pancakes weren’t accidentally poisonous, but a tiny part of her brain knew that was just an excuse.

“Jen, these are delicious! Come here, you gotta try some!” Judy stabbed a bite of pancake and held out the fork, wanting Jen to lean in to take the bite. Jen got closer, close enough for Judy to move the fork and bop Jen on the nose with the syrupy pancake bite.

Jen closed her eyes, feigning annoyance, before bursting into laughter. Jen couldn’t remember the last time she let herself be silly. It was nice.

“Judy! You got syrup on my nose!” She wriggled her now sticky nose for emphasis.

“Because you’re so sweet.” Judy was proud of her own joke.

Judy’s smile was so big and she was calling Jen, Jen Harding of all people “sweet.”

Maybe being soft was worth it if it made Judy Hale smile.

(It was a random Tuesday when Jen realized she was in love.)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from phoebe bridgers "graceland too"


End file.
